-Icez aka aH vOn-
-29th September-
-dReaMinG tO b a tai tai sOon-
-LiKeS tRaVeLLinG, sHoPpiNg, sInGinG, dReaMiNg (Oh, yeS!), dOrAeMoN Bb, mY BeEeeee anD Mani ManI mOrE....... -
.thE QuEstiOn. - yes, i finally 'see' it..but yet to 'hear' it...
.mY OpEn waTeR LicEnsE. - i've finally certified!!
.OrlAndO diSnEY, HoKkaidO sNoW crAbs, tAiwAn sHOpPiNg.
.tO bE a tAi tAi sOoN *Haha*.
.tO haVe eVeRLaStinG haPpiNeSs n LaugHter aLwayS.
.tO bE thE 'OnE' n ONLY OnE.
"When a woman is unhappy, a man may feel like a failure and may eventually give up trying to fulfill her."
Remember, what a man really wants is to make his partner happy; if he loves a woman, his primary goal is her fulfillment. Her happiness signals to him that he is loved. Her warm responses are like a mirror reflecting back to him a shining image. When she is not happy, he feels like a failure and eventually gives up trying to fulfill her.
-- i think almost all of us knows this... but how many of us (gers) can actually "remb" this golden rule... and be happy always?.... i think i've failed... failed badly... Many a times, we(i) will get upset over the slightest issue and pull a long face the entire day... resulting in spoiling the day for the man... which of coz, ultimately in creating a strain on the r/s......
"A man thrives on appreciation because it directly nurtures his male side. A woman thrives on communication because it directly nurtures her female side."
A man can be stressed out from a day at work, but if his partner is happy with him, he feels fulfilled. When he senses her appreciation for his labor, his stress level dissipates; her happiness is like a shower that washes away the stressful grime of his day.
However, when an exhausted woman returns home to a happy man, he doesnt make her day. It's great that he appreciates her hard work to support the family, but it doesnt in the least diminish her unease. She needs to communicate and feel some nurturing support before she can begin to appreciate him.
--I dunno abt how it applies to the men, but from a woman pt of view...i tink it truely relates to hw we feel. Sometimes, we may b upset over other issues...(probably even totally unrelated to u) but of coz... we cant/dunno hw to snap out of the situation immediately.. which often makes it seem as though we are upset with u... which of coz... making us not able to appreciate u....making u to feel that watever u do, we are always unhappy..... which of coz... is NOT TRUE. Why cant we both understand the simple rule that Man and Woman Think Differently??!!......
=Why Men Pull Away?=
"When a man arrives home to a needy woman, he continues to pull away"
When a man arrives home to a needy woman, he continues to pull away and never learns how to open up. The more he feels pressured to talk or be "in relationship", the more he needs to back off to relax. He can most effectively forget the demands of his job when he feels no pressure or demands from his mate.
Without this advanced relationship skill a woman unknowingly prevents her male partner from successfully making the transition from work to home. Through her demanding more of him or reacting negatively to his need for private time, he may never relax enough to come back into the relationship. If the downward spiral continues, it can actually hinder a man from contacting his loving feelings. He may even believe that he doesnt love his partner anymore.
--Believe me.. Im learning... im seriously learning to adjust myself... to adapt and understand that there's a need for both of us to have our own private time. I know that friends play an important part in ur life...so much so that u r willing to give up the love in ur life... so as not to neglect them.... i noe this is the unspoken Golden Rule that i must obey... and i have to change.. n i'm in the process of adjusting....but i need ur support and time...to accept this with my open heart..
"When a man is not expected to give more, he automatically wants to."
When a man returns home to a nondemanding woman, he feels free to take the time he needs to relax. He can then automatically shift gears and give his partner the love she deserves. When a man is not expected to give more, he automatically wants to.
--Is this really true?...
=Why Couples Break Up?=
"When men feel they are doing enough, they eventually are willing to do a little more."
Woman say they give and give and are tired of giving and not getting back. They want more. Men say "I give and give, but no matter what I do, it is never enough to make her happy." This is because his condition for fulfillment is primarily based on fulfilling her needs. When she is happy, he is happy.
-- sounds so familiar....haiz....read on....
A woman's fulfillment in a relationship is largely dependent on the man's supportive behaviour, while his happiness is much more linked to her response to his support. When she is fulfilled, he is more willing to do more. When she is not fulfilled, he believes his efforts are not valued and naturally resists doing more.
Men who dont want to give more simply are not feeling sufficiently appreciated. Before asking him for more, a woman must convince her partner that he is already doing enough. To read him a list of what he is doing wrong only creates more resistance. Appreciating what he does do, however, and making specific requests in small increments, is the key to getting more.
Women will always give, and men will always be happy to receive. That is not the problem. The problem is that women give too much and feel overworked, while men give only what their fathers gave and expect to receive the same measure of support.
--above all are jz xtracts from Dr John Gray's book....which i tot i need to constantly remind myself... someting which almost everyone of us noes....but yet do not necessarily practice it often.....
To u: i dunno if u ever get to read this... jz to let u noe tt i'm sorry for what had happened n i will do my best to improve on it... do appreciate what u've done for me all these while n the sacrifices u've made.. frm nw on...will learn to giv the luv tt u wan and not i tink what u wan....and hope tt u will do the same for me as well....